From the beginning of human kind, once there was a collection of people there would be a tribe. The tribe will normally share certain characteristics, sometimes based on where they were from geographically. Then as time went on there were more definers, some which were man-made for example borders and countries. The world has evolved to include: organisation, professional body, team, FaceBook group; Google+ community and Meetup. Question: have you ever been part of a gang?
It was at school where I learnt about making friends, the feeling of wanting to fit into a social group. I made friends and saw some pupils become very close and form their own cliques or gangs. Gangs sometimes conjured up negative connotations. This is because sometimes in gangs, they may be up to no good. They may want to be different from others, and want to either exclude or isolate from the rest of the playground children. At the top structure of a gang hierarchy, there will be a leader, who usually makes up rules on who they are and what made them different. You may wonder why use the playground, but it does not really go away. You grow up, and may be working in an office where there is a playground of different characters just like on FaceBook too.
Invitation to a tribe
A few years ago, some time after entering the social media sphere with my brand SophiaWorld, I got an email from lady who was connected to someone in my network. She invited me to have a chat with her. A talk was scheduled in and one afternoon, I pulled over in my car and took her call. She then spent a majority of the conversation discussing her group. [I should have realised that she will be pitching to me] Then came the question: so how can I work with you? I thought that it was a bit strange as it was our first encounter. Then she went further to question herself aloud –whether or not I would be a good ‘fit’ for her exclusive group. She went on to describe the code to be a member of her group: how she wanted committed members. I also made reference to a person that I knew, who she had also heard about. She responded with how she likes them, but they were definitely not the right ‘fit’ for her group. As she was sharing this story I thought this very individual probably turned her down – and good on them. The conversation was ‘wound’ up with cordial greetings; and I thought this is not a tribe I want to join. Interestingly enough she referred to it as a tribe. I did not get a call back; and I did not want to be part of her ‘exclusive’ gang.
“You have to belong to this religion to be a member”
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be part of a group, sharing an interest. I have my own book club that I created a couple of years ago, after discussing the idea with another friend. I enjoy it. Although I created it – there is democracy – in that each of us has our turn in choosing the book; and we have fun. There are other types of groups that go further, they may say that you have to be this ‘religion’ to be part of this book club. This to me seems very exclusive and unnecessary; as I question that my faith and spirituality, will determine whether I enjoy romantic books? I do not subscribe to this as this form of man-made separation. This to me is not love and being part of a community.
Is the point of community to get together?
Community to me is coming together and sharing ideas, of course there may be some codes that need to be there to protect each other from harm; and to enforce fairness.
Here is a tweetable:
Talking about a community going too far. I decided to leave a writing community recently, as I thought that the leader did not appreciate individuality. She was coming up with rules of why I cannot be myself. I decided to leave and expressed this to her. She later responded with: “Well I will be changing the rules”. So was this the leader losing focus on what a community was, and being on a power high?
Here is a tweetable:
I shared this in my personal FaceBook page; and how I intended to write an article on this. I thought it was important to discuss groups, gangs and how this is an area which sometimes prevents people being true to their own inner heart, as they have the fear of not being accepted. If you think that people are not going to accept you for whom you are, then they do not deserve to be in your space.
Question: Why are you a part of a community? Is it to uplift your awesomeness?
Bonus question: do you want to be part of my BE YOU community @SophiaWorld?