Dealing with negativity: “The day I fell in love with my frenemie”

Lets face facts, there are going to be people whom we like and others that we dislike. It is a bit like the marmite debate, you either love it or hate it. However, it is possible to acquire a taste for someone or something that you originally had a distaste for. I had this experience when I was younger with Brussels sprouts. I did not enjoy them to begin with, but somehow adjusted my feelings and began to love them. Some describe this as acquiring a taste.

“Where was this seed born?”

What inspired me to pen this article was a show that I was watching via Google+ hangout, which was hosted by Jo Westwood of DJ Spirit fame. The theme of the hangout was dealing with negativity in everyday life from a spiritual perspective. To provide you with a little insight on the Spirit DJ, she helps people with their self-development and finding spirituality. She often refers to the spiritual book ‘A Course in Miracles’ in her teachings. This is not a religious text, but does use some of the terms in explaining concepts. I am a fan of spirituality and metaphysics. I think we all need to have our own beliefs on how to live a balanced and happier life. And I have previously written material on how negativity is a vibration that can attract more of the same, depending on what you are focusing on. “Where your attention flows, energy flows”.

I have encouraged in my writing to focus your energy more on positivity rather than negativity. But what causes us to get in the mode of projecting negativity out? We can see the different forms in: gossiping, bit@*ching, Internet trolling and downright hating! It starts from within. There can be a trigger.

“Love thy freneme”

In the hangout I shared an experience I had with a friend’s sister.  I thought after hearing stories about her from her sister that she was not a nice person. These prejudgements were so strong that I decided that I did not want to be around her. To the outside world she seemed to be attracting what she wanted. She attracted a good job, a loving and doting partner whom was also wealthy; and she had a beautiful home. Some of these aspects listed are material, and to some extent she did sometimes project that these did not always satisfy her inner peace; but she had a good lifestyle. I soon recognised that there was a little envy there – yes one of the so-called ‘deadly sins’. I then started to question, “So what is the matter of wanting the finer things?” There was nothing wrong with wanting to strive for a good life. Thinking that it was bad, was more a reflection on my thought pattern and social conditioning. I then realised that the issue may lie with me; how I needed to look at my inner working. After some reflection I then thought, “Well good for her, in attracting these positive things”.  From that a miracle occurred – sometimes referred to as a shift in perception – I started to see her in a positive life. And I felt good too. I could not see negativity.

“It’s their issue, not yours”

Later on when I noticed other people projecting that behaviour of hating another person, whom they may not know that well, I started to think it is about them not the other person. They were having an issue, which can be due to their beliefs or what they were currently experiencing. It is kind of like the bully who often attacks another because of his or her own vulnerability. So please consider the next time when someone says something to you that may be out of line that it is their issue not yours. It may be difficult at first, but will do wonders for your inner peace.

Question: Have your negative judgements been about that other person really, or was it to do with you?


Scream and Shout: don’t allow negativity to fester

The big slap

Let me tell you a story, yesterday I received some news about a acquaintance who used to feature quite heavily in my life. I found out how they led quite the double-life. I was shocked and disappointed, as I felt that they were a friend. In all relationships an element of trust is required. Although some say that you can really trust yourself more than anyone else. I can understand this to a certain extent, but you need to be able to feel safe with people.

Screenshot 2013-12-26 00.09.06


Scream and Shout: It’s all in how you react, which is the test

It’s difficult not to be you. I mean behaving or reacting in a certain way. Usually when a person does something wrong, it is very easy to respond back in a negative way. This can be shouting, screaming, or even plotting revenge. Ivana Trump’s phrase, “Don’t get mad. Get even”, comes to mind. Get even does not necessarily have to be negative. It can be deciding that you are going to take a lesson from the incident, and grow from it. Decide for example, that you will be kinder to yourself in the future. This way, you are not allowing yourself to fixate on the drama and negativity of the situation. Why allow negativity to reside in your mind?



Wake up call

Sometimes when you get the shock, or slap in the face it may cause you to take pause. It can be a great thing, as it makes you put things into perspective. Question, whether you are truly happy and give you the opportunity to put things into action. I remember writing Yellow, after going through a low vibrational period were I was angry. Feeling that I was wronged. Yes, I have been there before, where I felt sorry for myself. I am human, so will experience disappointment. What has helped is plotting revenge, coming back stronger and better after lesson learnt.