“You’re selfish, as you are always taking care of your needs first”. I heard this sentence being spoken to me and I did not react. I did not react in a negative way, which may have consisted of me getting either upset or defensive. I did not think that being ‘selfish’ or addressing my needs first was bad. This was different to my old story, where I did not fully grasp what the true meaning of self-love was. Back then I was not being loving to myself; and in turn the world was treating me a certain way. How it is good to have become a S.I.P (Single Important Person). You can act like a S.I.P as you are one.
Searching for Love
Love used to be about the relationships that I had. This would include the one that I had with my parents, the one with my siblings and other relatives, the one that I had with friends and love relationships. You may have noticed that there is a pattern here that in order to receive love, there was a need to rely on my external relationships. How it was something to seek from the outside world. Then to mention an addendum, “how do you sustain these external love relationships?” I thought this meant pleasing them, making me worthy of their love. It took some years to come to realize that there are no conditions with love. ‘Love love love’. We come from a place of love. This does not die, and it is always on your side. Babies are the best examples of this in how they choose to see love and be positive. They feel the love.
It starts from a place called self
Love starts from within. You may be a little confused at first by this statement. It really starts from within you. It was there long before you were formed. And it remains for eternity. It is that source of everlasting energy that cares for your wellbeing, wants you to be happy and accepts you for who you are. You may also describe this energy as love, the unseen force, God, or spirituality. It has no conditions.
You get more what you put out. Everything is vibrational. This includes how you allow others around you to treat you. Going back to my old ‘story’ where I would be searching for love, misunderstanding that love was unconditional, this caused an imbalance. I would find that I be ‘giving’ in excess, then having people wanting to take from me in excess. Question, have you been in a relationship where you felt that you were putting a lot of effort, and the other person did not seem to be outing the same input? Have you felt that you have not been treated right, or taken advantage of? This was a response to what you were vibrating out. You may not have realized this but you were sending out the signals, “I do not mind people taken more and more from me; and my needs are not that important”. As a result you continue to feel disappointed but what you perceive to be dealt the ‘short straw’.
“How do I get the balance?”You find balance firstly, when you remember that you are from love. How you can just be. Allow great things to enter into your life. How there are no conditions in living an abundant life. You need to vibrate this out, “that I allow all great things to come” How you must take care of your needs first before taking care of others. And when you want to help, do not do this to the detriment of yourself. Question: have you ever helped someone and felt emotionally drained afterwards or resentfulness? If yes, you were probably helping and doing this to your detriment.
Being a S.I.P
It is important to realize that you are from love. That you can receive great things and an element is to love yourself, take care of you and project out how you want to be treated fairly. There is nothing wrong with being a S.I.P