Often when I am making a decision, I will either use my [rational] mind or connect more with my emotional [heart] side. With both of these it can provide either the same answer, or opposing views. Recently, I was thinking about making decisions; as it came up in a personal reading I had with a psychic. They had picked upon how this was an area that can sometimes cause contention in my everyday life. This I could relate to, especially the conflict that would often arise where my heart will say one thing – and the feeling, would even be overwhelming sometimes – and on the other hand, there was the mind, being it’s apparent logical self.
Why the struggle to listen to your heart?
The struggle to listen to one’s heart begins when you can no longer mute those external voices. These external voices take the form of belief systems, usually not ours, it can be ancestral and ones that may not have been questioned. It can be someone’s worldview on matters. It can also be our early influencers, like teachers and people we may have looked up to in society. How do you learn? From watching, observing,mimicking and exploring things. As a child, it easier to mute voices out as you tend to come from the mindset that actually, “Yes, I can”. It is that word cannot, that is later picked up. A word that may not really exist, but is man-made. Going back to a child, they describe how they naturally operate from the nature of an unconscious mind. (You can see an introductory video to this here). The unconscious mind can also be described as the place where we are more open to exploring possibilities, trusting in our inner guidance system; listening to our heart. So how do we listen to our heart? And secondly, how do we learn to trust it?
“It’s all in the thinking”
The number one rule to changing something, is all about starting with the mind. In particular how we process thoughts and the approach we take in our thinking. At first, this change of perception may be difficult as this is how you have always done it. So it is more easier to become aware. Start questioning the beliefs. Below are some examples of tackling beliefs and thoughts patterns, which may feel more rational in approach to following your heart.
The struggle argument: “In order achieve great things, then there must have been a struggle along the way”
Firstly a struggle will usually not make your heart sing. It may instead cause an ache. The statement about the struggle has a dual aspect to it. It is correct that when embarking on any journey, it is usual to occasionally arrive at some bumps in the road; or even a hurdle or two. The purpose each time is to discover from within, your inner power and resource. Have you heard of that expression, “You are never delivered more than you can bear”? This is often the case that with each challenge, your resolve, approach and attitude is being tested. The question is not why, but what are you meant to be discovering? How can you expand from the situation?You will discover when you take this approach that you will see the humour more and be more at ease; saying a sentence with tone “Oh, well”. The second part to this struggle argument is that great things come to you with ease. If it is not coming with ease, then your approach is not right. Question, have you experienced being in a vicious cycle? I raise my hand up and say yes. This has usually occurred when I have been repeating certain actions, over and over again. Actions I think that I should be doing. Should, usually indicates that it is not my initial thought.
Oulditist: Should of, could of would of
The singer Beverley Knight sang the song, ‘Shoulda Woulda Coulda’ In that song there is a lyric that goes: “Should I, would I could I are the last words of a fool” It may be harsh but those three words,which contains the letters ‘o.u.l.d’ can not be useful. My mother once said when I was writing a sentence, “Don’t use ‘could’ as it does not come across as confident in tone”. When using the word ‘should’ within a statement declaring an intention to fulfill an action, it too is not promising. Should suggests another person’s viewpoint; not yours. I am doing this since a person’s belief, world view indicates that it is the ‘right’ thing to do. To take a pause here, this is not to say that one should ‘ignore’ warnings that can prevent you from being in danger.
“I trust myself”
I trust myself, can easily have been rephrased with, “I believe in myself”. Often it is very clear what is the best way to step forward; and your heart will feel very at ease with the decision as it will just feel right. When you go against your heart sometimes, and follow what your supposedly rational mind is saying; or even someone else’s, it will not feel right. Your body that is very in tune with the heart, will start to react. This can manifest in forms of having headaches, or even feeling stomach ache. (Did you not notice how the symptoms end with an ‘ache’?)Remember the principle of things coming at ease? It applies here. But why do we not have trust, or even faith in our decisions. It can be the belief that we have within ourselves. We may be basing our decisions on past events; or even what stories we may have heard that are not ‘necessarily’ true. For example, how it is not possible to find love after 30. Who said that you cannot? Or you can simply re-frame and say, “how can I make it happen”
Faith it, until you can make it: A tale of following your heart
Going back to my story, where I speak to the psychic to help get clarity. In one of her sentences, she reminded me that I ‘know’ what to do. How I am highly ‘intuitive’ and that lies my power. You see, how the answers lie in my core – my heart. How did you listen to you] heart? It is by trusting it. Trusting that it always acts in your higher good. All you need to do is get silent, listen to how you feel. This exercise may be difficult at first to do. One tip: if a decision is feeling light, then it is usually a good indicator. If you are first scared, of going against what you ‘should do’; take a breath. Remember that you have the power, and are the emperor of your mind. It get’s easier to apply this when you have faith in yourself, and keep practicing this. So have a go, next time when your heart is ‘aching’
See the poster below: